failing God

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 30-01-2009

Category : David, God, failure, faith, fear, sin

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If you ask an athlete about a game, they will almost always tell you about the shot they missed, the tackle they could have had, the putt they should have sunk.  Of course you don’t need to be an athlete to think this way.  When you go into work what do you think of?  The things you should have finished?  The account you should have landed?  I bet very few of us focus on the positives.  Even fewer live wide awake.

We live in a culture that emphasizes failure.  I don’t know if this has always been the case or if this is some recent development.  But whatever the case, we live in a world obsessed with failure.  

It’s true in our professional lives.  It’s true in our personal lives.  And this attitude is true in our relationship with God.  We focus on our short comings:  How we could have been more generous.  How we shouldn’t have yelled at our kids.  How we knew what we were doing was wrong, yet we didn’t stop.  We focus on all of the mistakes we make.   

But is this how we are supposed to live?   

Most of us have fallen for the performance plan view of God.  We think God is carefully taking note of our failures.  That he’s just waiting around the corner to whack us with them.  “If Santa makes a list, what does God do?” we wonder.  Instead of experiencing God’s grace, we find ourselves overwhelmed with guilt.

Yet that’s not the God of the Bible.  While God is never thrilled we’re sinning, it’s not our sin that destroys our relationship with him.  It’s something else… 

There once was a father and son who believed in God.  The father was a murderer, adulterer, he was even negligent of his family.  The son on the other hand never killed anyone, never had an affair, and always seemed to have his family in mind.

Yet God turned away from the son and not the father.  Why?

Because no matter how many horrible things David did, he always maintained his relationship with God.  He never rejected that relationship.  Solomon on the other hand, despite all his wisdom, began to worship other Gods. 

“As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been.  He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molech [a] the detestable god of the Ammonites.  So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the LORD; he did not follow the LORD completely, as David his father had done.”               (1 Kings 11: 4-6)

David’s failure didn’t drive God away.  No matter how many mistakes he made, God always remained with David.  Solomon, on the other hand, despite all his wisdom found God as an enemy.  It wasn’t his failures that caused it – it was his choice to believe in other gods that ended things. 

So why do we still believe our behavior is what matters to God?   Why do we focus all our energy on our failures, and spend so little time focusing on re-building our relationship with God?

David did many horrible things.  Yet he was described as, a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13: 22).  Despite his actions, despite his failure, he built a lasting relationship with God.  Isn’t that the model that we should work towards?  Shouldn’t we stop focusing on failures and spend all that energy of doubt, fear, anger, worry towards re-energizing our relationship with God?

We need to live out a life of faith, not live a life in fear of failure. 

life and football

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 21-01-2009

Category : faith, fear, live for the eternal, trust

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I love watching football for one reason: I don’t know the outcome.  It’s the anticipation of what’s about to happen that’s so exciting.  That’s what makes it thrilling.  Tivo it and I couldn’t care less.  The outcome has already occurred.  But when it’s live – nothing is more exciting.

Yet when it comes to my life, I feel the opposite.  I am afraid of the unknown.  I dread the anticipation of what’s about to happen. 

Why?  Why should there be this difference?

I think there shouldn’t be.  We should live to embrace the moment.  We can’t enjoy life if we’re always regretting the past, or even reminiscing in the “good times” of days gone by.  Nor can we live life to the fullest if we’re always terrified of what’s about to happen.  The only way to live out a life of faith is to do so now.  In the moment.  At this point. 

Anything else just won’t cut it.  And where’s the fun in that?

suffering: a hard lesson

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 07-01-2009

Category : barbarian, faith, fear, hope

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Israel spent a long time (500 years or so) suffering in Babylon.  Perhaps the one thing that they learned, perhaps even the main reason for the suffering in the first place, was to learn that there was only one God. 

In other words, they became monotheistic.

Now this may not seem like a big deal, but Israel really struggled with this idea that Yahweh (God) was the “one true God”.  They kept getting distracted by all the other religions around them.  They couldn’t learn that lesson while Moses was leading them.  They didn’t learn it during the period of Judges.  They couldn’t really even grasp it under David and Solomon.

It took 500 years of captivity, punishment, and slavery before they finally learned that there was only one God.  We live in a safety first world.  We can’t even imagine the need for suffering.  We can’t even conceive that suffering might be useful.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I don’t think God causes suffering.  I don’t think he wanted Israel to go through 500 years of exile.  I don’t think he wants us to have to suffer.  But because we have free will, I believe God has to let these things happen.

G.K. Chesterton once said that it wasn’t suffering that caused meaninglessness, it was too much pleasure.

We live in a world where all of your pleasures, no matter what they are, can be met.  And yet, we also seem to live in a world that is overrun in hopelessness.  Could part of the reason be that we focus completely on pleasure, and never take time to seize the opportunities suffering presents?

The Bible is filled with people who suffered, yet found meaning.  And I think if we look at our own lives, we’d find that same pattern.  Sometimes, just like it was for Israel, suffering is not only informative, it’s necessary.

a Christmas lesson

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Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 26-12-2008

Category : God, different, faith, fear, hope, sharing faith

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As I’ve mentioned a couple times on R3, I will not have a job come January.  Knowing that has been an interesting experience.  But maybe not in the way you would expect. 

I find I’m focusing more on the things I have than the things I don’t.  I’m also realizing all of the things that used to bother me, such as not having a house, are now blessings.  (No house = No mortgage payments)  

The biggest challenge has been learning to not buy things for myself.  Games, books, CD’s, movie tickets, that sort of stuff.  Things that I never really gave much thought to, are now out of reach.  So what does this have to do with Christmas?  Well, for the first time, in a very long time, I’m really excited about Christmas.  I am now being given presents that I could never afford on my own.  Even simple gifts such as a CD or a book is a big deal, and I am grateful for each and everything I have received.

Sometimes we think the solution to all of our problems is money or comfort.  That if we could only get more stuff, then we’d be happy.  Yet I’m learning that’s not true at all.  Sometimes the best thing that can happen to us is to struggle.  Because it’s in those moments we are forced to rely on God.  And anytime we trust God, miracles happen.

So I may soon be without a job, but even in the midst of that, God is working miracles.  I am learning things I never expected.  Funny how God works like that.

 

it’s not about me…

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 12-12-2008

Category : God, choice, faith, fear, revolutionary

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No matter how hard, or I suppose how little we try, we tend to be pretty self-centered.  I don’t mean this in a negative way.  Being self-centered doesn’t always mean that we are selfish.  Although it could.  Being self-centered can also mean that we appropriately focus on ourselves.  Which can be healthy.  After all if we lack self-focus we would end up with a lot of people forgetting to take showers, making the world a much stinkier place! 

Think about it this way: during the course of a day we make hundreds of decisions about ourselves.  What pants do I wear?  What do I eat for breakfast?  Is it safe to pull out into traffic?  We are constantly forced into making choices about ourselves.  So it’s no wonder we end up being fixated on oursleves.  It’s not that difficult to go from “Do I feel like going to the gym?” to assuming everything is about us. 

Which is why, when we say “God told me to do X”, we are acting under the assumption that “X” is for our own good.  What if it’s not?  What if “X” is for someone else’s good?  What if we need to do “X” to step out of the way?

Any time I feel God prompting me to do something dangerous or out of my comfort zone I assume that there must be some benefit for me.  I ask the reasonable question, “why else would God have me do this?”  It must be for my own good.  Right?

But does it have to be?

John the Baptist spent his ministry doing crazy things.  Not the least of which involved wearing camel hair and eating locusts.  Yet his entire ministry wasn’t about himself.  It wasn’t about growing his own followers or becoming safe and secure.  It wasn’t even about staying on a low-carb locust diet.  The whole point of his ministry was to prepare the world for Jesus’ ministry!

In other words, the whole point of “X”, for John, was to get out of the way once Jesus showed up.  That has to be hard on the ego.  Yet get out of the way is exactly what John did.  And for his troubles he was beheaded. 

Looking back at John’s story there seems to be very little benefit to him.  Sure he’s remembered, but he was also beheaded.  And knowing that it makes it hard for me to want to follow in his footsteps.  Frankly the same can be said of a lot of people in the Bible.  I don’t really have much of a desire to be martyred. 

But that’s the catch isn’t it?

The story isn’t really about them.  And my story isn’t always about me.  Sometimes in order for “X” to succeed, I need to get out of the way.  And maybe, just maybe, that means I must lose my life in the process.

As long as I remain convinced that every time God asks me to do something it is for my direct benefit, I will never want to take a risk because I may lose everything.  But as I learn that the story isn’t always about me.  That sometimes my role is to get out of the way, I don’t need to worry about losing everything.  Because all that stuff didn’t belong to me in the first place.

Sometimes it’s just not about me.

thanks giving: suffering

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Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 26-11-2008

Category : CS Lewis, God, Jesus, Paul, barbarian, faith, fear, hope

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As I alluded to in the post yesterday, I am thankful for suffering.  I know it sounds strange to say that.  Frankly it seems weird to type it.  But almost everything I treasure has come through suffering, including R3. 

We all want our lives to be easy and convenient.  I think this is especially true in America, where we are used to having everything within minutes, if not seconds.  But no one escapes suffering.  Not even God.  Which leads me to believe that maybe suffering isn’t something to be avoided, it’s something to learn from.

God has a way of taking what the world means for evil and flipping it on it’s head.  In the Chronicles of Narnia, the White Witch thinks she wins by killing Aslan, the Lion.  But she couldn’t be further from the truth.  The suffering, and death of Aslan (a stand in for Jesus) was the exact thing that ends up destroying the evil of the White Witch.  In the book, CS Lewis describes Aslan’s return like this,

“…though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know.  Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of Time.  But if she could have looked a little further back, into the stillness and the darkness before Time dawned, she would have read there ad different incantation.  She would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backwards.” (Chronicles of Narnia, p.160)

Without suffering the White Witch never would have been defeated.  Without suffering you and I never would have been saved.  Without suffering countless miracles never could have occurred.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t look forward to it.  I am not happy about it.  I wouldn’t want to give up a Friday at the movies for malaria.  But I’m learning that sometimes the best teacher is suffering.  And I am willing to do anything that draws me closer to God. 

Because of all of that, I am thankful for suffering

thanks giving: the little things

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Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 25-11-2008

Category : God, faith, fear, hope, miracles

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Looking back at the list of things I am thankful for, I can’t help but notice how many “small things” are on it.  To be honest that surprises me.  Before I sat down, I fully expected my list to have a lot of “big ticket” items.  For instance, my car, my apartment, or even the Steelers. 

But most of what I’m truly thankful for are the so-called “simple pleasures” in my life.  Instead of being excited about the material possessions I have, what matters most to me are the basics – like being able to eat Sour Patch Kids. 

I’m not sure I would have recognized that without this exercise. 

It sounds cliché, but the small things really do matter.  So often we think that in order to be thankful and happy the big things must fall into place.  We tell ourselves, “if we just get this promotion I’ll be happy.”  Or “if only she likes me, then everything would be okay.”  But I’m finding that’s just the opposite.  My life has never been more “up in the air”.  And it’s the little things in my life that keep me excited and motivated. 

Funny how it takes hardship and struggling to realize that…

what? me worry?

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 14-11-2008

Category : Matthew, choice, faith, fear, hope, trust

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

 

What does a sick 3 year old, being kicked off a flight, and losing a power strip have in common?  They are all things that in my two weeks of travel I never expected, and yet they were my biggest challenges. 

Before I left I expected computer problems, stress, or even getting lost in some strange city to be my biggest issues.  But all of those went smoothly.  In fact even driving around Chicago was easy.  Every single thing I worried about worked out perfectly.  What I found was a sudden supply of unexpected problems!  Things that had never even crossed my mind.

Jesus said, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”  I’m not sure that point has ever been driven home more than these last few weeks. 

I look back at all the stress and feel a little embarrassed by it.  All of the anxiety I felt was pointless.  I didn’t accomplish anything through worry.  I didn’t solve any problems by being nervous.  It was just a big waste of my time and energy. 

I’d like to say I am cured of my need to worry.  But I know that’s not really true.  I think I can honestly say, however, that things are just a bit more in perspective.  And isn’t that what the Christian faith is all about?  Each day making a little more progress towards God. 

God and the Konami cheat code

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 07-11-2008

Category : God, failure, faith, fear, hope, humor, sin

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

  

Sometimes it’s easy to get down on ourselves.  We blame ourselves for our sins, for our failures.  We start thinking that God can’t use us because we’re not perfect.  God offers us an infinite number of “do overs.”  But we need to be willing to go to him and accept that. 

When I think of that I’m reminded of this shirt:

 

Konami cheat code t-shirt

 Image courtasy ShirtADay

(For those of you who didn’t grow up playing video games this is known as the Konami cheat code, which gave you 30 lives in various video games.)

life’s biggest lesson?

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 29-10-2008

Category : David, Saul, faith, fear, taking action

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“The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”  (1 Samuel 17: 37)

This was David’s response when Saul asked him why he thought he could beat Goliath, a man that every other Israelite feared.  Sometimes all we need is to apply the things that God has already taught us.  David didn’t need more proof that God would help him – he already had two examples.  And for David, that was enough.

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