R3: radical, revolutionary, different

What does a sick 3 year old, being kicked off a flight, and losing a power strip have in common?  They are all things that in my two weeks of travel I never expected, and yet they were my biggest challenges. 

Before I left I expected computer problems, stress, or even getting lost in some strange city to be my biggest issues.  But all of those went smoothly.  In fact even driving around Chicago was easy.  Every single thing I worried about worked out perfectly.  What I found was a sudden supply of unexpected problems!  Things that had never even crossed my mind.

Jesus said, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”  I’m not sure that point has ever been driven home more than these last few weeks. 

I look back at all the stress and feel a little embarrassed by it.  All of the anxiety I felt was pointless.  I didn’t accomplish anything through worry.  I didn’t solve any problems by being nervous.  It was just a big waste of my time and energy. 

I’d like to say I am cured of my need to worry.  But I know that’s not really true.  I think I can honestly say, however, that things are just a bit more in perspective.  And isn’t that what the Christian faith is all about?  Each day making a little more progress towards God. 

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”  - Albert Schweitzer

Who’s flame do you have a chance to rekindle?  Who’s life can you radically alter, simply by being there for them?

I am very much an individualist. 

All of my favorite games, movies and history stories involve the lone hero fighting the forces of evil (Chuck Norris I’m looking at you).  To be honest I hate the idea that I need community to live a healthy, productive life.  I don’t want to have to submit my life to other people - I want to be king of the hill. 

But if I want to live out a life of faith, I need to look at everything the Bible says about my life, not just the things I’m interested in hearing.  That’s why I find the Bible’s comments on authority so challenging.  It directly confronts the way I want to live my life.

Yet should I be surprised?  Look at what happens in the world around us.

Since 2000 we’ve been told by one political party that our current president is an idiot.  Comedians re-tell that same joke as if no one has ever heard it.  Companies publish calendars and cards illustrating “Bushisms.”  In response, we’re told that the other political party hates their country.  And hopes that things will be miserable for millions of Americans just to improve their election chances.  

Of course it’s not just politics where this happens.  It’s at home too.  A 12 year old boy was suspended from school for wearing a mohawk to support the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.  His response was essentially: “I’d rather be suspended than cut my hair.”  His parents supported his decision. 

Now maybe Bush isn’t the smartest President we’ve ever had.  And maybe one party really does believe in redistribution of wealth.  And maybe the school over reacted with a boy’s enthusiasm for his favorite team.

But is this mocking authority how we’re called to live? 

We  seem to “stick it to the Man” because we can.  And so we cheer for the defiance of a 12 year old.  And laugh at the Bush is stupid jokes.  And nod knowingly that one party wants to take from the rich and give to the poor. 

I don’t pretend to understand everything about how the Bible portrays authority.  Maybe I don’t even know most of it.  But how can we hope to learn what it means to be obedient, when as a society we intentionally mock those in authority?

Right now we find ourselves in a global economic crisis.  And we’re told that we need to trust our leaders.  But why should we when we’ve been told for 8 years that the president is an idiot?  When we mock authority, how can we suddenly turn that attitude off when suddenly we need to trust authority?

The answer is, we can’t. 

There’s a moment when Saul is standing alone in a cave “using the facilities” so to speak.  David, the man who Saul is trying to kill, is hiding in the cave. Saul had been searching for them for a long time.  It would be so easy for David to end his life on the run by killing Saul. At least that’s what David’s men think.  

But David believes Saul was chosen by God, and therefore has all of God’s authority.  So instead of killing him, David cuts off a piece of his robe.  Saul leaves without knowing how close to death he was.  As Saul walks back to his soldiers, his protection, David appears, saying, “I could have killed you, but I didn’t because God chose you to be king.”

David knew that if he started ignoring God’s authority because it was convenient, he’d be walking down a dangerous path.  He respected Saul’s authority so much that he’d rather live a life on the run, then counter what God might be doing through Saul.  He knew he couldn’t turn his obedience on and off.  That’s a very different place to be than how we seem to be living.

Like I said, the Bible’s view of authority is difficult for me to grasp.  Especially as someone who prides himself on individualism.  I do know that with the election in a few days, this is something we all need to wrestle with.  No matter who wins the presidency, serious problems face this country and the world.  And I don’t want to reject authority simply because I don’t like it.  I’m committed to God, no matter where that leads me.

I want God to be my king of the hill.

In the last post, I spoke about David’s belief that God would be with him when he faced Goliath.  He didn’t need any more evidence. He didn’t have to wait for “just one more reassurance.”  He just took past experiences and applied them to his life.

Yet so often we don’t act with that same assurance.  Sometimes we want to wait for absolutes before we act.  We play it safe and ask, “God, should I do this, or should I do that?”  Waiting until God gives us some kind of definitive answer. 

Now on the one hand, this is a very valid and legitimate question to ask.  It can be a very bad idea to act without knowing God is there to support you.  But in many cases God has already told us to act, he doesn’t need to repeat himself.  For instance, Jesus already told us to love our enemies.  We don’t need to pray about whether we should love them, we just need to do it.

No matter what decisions we make, or what actions we decide to take, we must always move with God.  As bold as David was, he never would have survived without God’s help.  In fact, that’s the whole point of the story.  David was much smaller than many of the Israelite soldiers.  He was the youngest child (which Israelites viewed as ‘inferior’).  If David had come up to you or I, we would have laughed at him, and said, “sure whatever kid.”  He didn’t fit the mold of manly man, let alone hero.

Which is exactly why God chose him to act.  No one could confuse God’s action as something David did on his own.  Casting Crowns sums up David’s attitude saying, “I’ll go, but I cannot go alone.”  This was David’s life philosophy.  He was aware that it wasn’t his own abilities that would take down Goliath (or the bear, or the lion) but it was God.  He went, but he didn’t go alone.

In Me

If you ask me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If You ask me to go
Preach to the lost world that Jesus saves
I’ll go, but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I’m nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong

Cause when I’m weak, You make me strong
When I’m blind, You shine Your light on me
Cause I’ll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don’t need me
How amazing to find that you want me
So I’ll stand on Your truth, and I’ll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

If You ask me to run
And carry Your light into foreign land
If You ask me to fight
Deliver Your people from Satan’s hand

To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
And to think with Your mind
I’d give my last breath for Your glory

With God’s backing, we can accomplish anything.  As David found out even giants are no match for God.  Or as Peter discovered, even walking on water is possible when we live out a life of faith.  What can God do with our lives, if we choose not to walk alone?

Sometimes people don’t always see how their faith impacts their life.  “It’s a personal thing” or “it’s between myself and God” are expressions of this idea.  But faith, and the way you live your life, can never be separated.  What you believe impacts how you behave.

Just look at the financial mess the world is facing.  While there are so many factors, perhaps too many to understand, that have triggered these events there is one thing we can look at: human behavior.  We see executives taking huge amounts of money while their companies go under.  Is there anything wrong with this?  Maybe not.  But can you imagine Jesus doing this?  The point of being a Kingdom person is that we are willing to sacrifice everything for our brothers and sisters. 

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends (John 15: 13)

The same should be true of the people we place in government.  Unfortunately it’s not.  By the time this is all said and done we will find politicians on both sides of the aisle (and other world leaders) who knowingly acted for their own welfare, sacrificing the welfare of their countries.  God warned Israel that the minute they put a king over them instead of God, the best of everything they had would belong to the state. 

But Christians can change this.  Not by forcing non-Christians to live by God’s rules, but by living out those rules for ourselves.  There is nothing more powerful than witnessing a life lived out in faith.  Nothing more convincing that God exists.

So in the midst of all of this, remember that faith applies to your life, just as much as it does to CEO’s and Senators. 

Getting stuff and having things isn’t bad. 

Being consumed with getting stuff and having things is. 

Right now people are tapped out.  They are spent financially, emotionally, and for many, relationally.  How can it be otherwise?  We are constantly told that we need more to fill our lives.  That no matter what we have it isn’t enough, or it’s not the right size.  So we go out and try to lose more weight, or buy more gadgets, or have more dating relationships.  But it’s never enough.  We need more. 

Frankly that’s a tough place to be because the more we embrace a consumerist mindset, the more we believe we have a right to wealth, prosperity, and happiness.  And now that we might not be able to get our next fix, we’re terrified. 

As much as I wish it were true, God never promised that just because we beleive in him, everything will be fine.  In fact, just the opposite may be true.  It seems that the closer you get to God, the more likely “bad” things are going to happen.  Of course that’s only if you define “bad” as not getting gadgets, toys, and pay raises.  Losing our toys may be annoying, losing our jobs may be difficult, losing our lives may be unfortunate.  But losing our souls?  Devastating.   

The thing is, God can still use each of us.  God still wants to be in a relationship with us.  No matter how far we’ve fallen into debt.  No matter how bad the country’s (or world’s) economy looks, there’s always something we can be doing for God.  There is always a way to advance the Kingdom.

And where the Kingdom advances, there is hope. 

I have now reached 5 days without power, and I have to admit, I’m a little cranky.  Living without power has really forced me to consider a few things as I mentioned earlier.  But the most pressing is being caught between feelings of helplessness and “in the overall scheme of things this isn’t a big deal.”  Depending when you ask me, I’m either irritated or I’ll simply shrug my shoulders and say, “who cares?”  As a wise friend said the other day, “this storm reminds me that there is a God, and I am not him.”

helplessness

God - I’m confused.  Part of me feels helpless.  I can’t get into a rhythm with my life.  My routines are destroyed, and I find that I draw a lot of comfort from those routines.  Maybe that’s wrong.  Maybe I need to draw more comfort from you, and less from what I do with my time.  But I admit, not all of me feels helpless.  Part of me feels perfectly calm, because I know that none of these problems really matter.  Who cares if I can’t watch TV for a week?  Who cares if I had to throw away all my food?  What does it matter if I need to burn candles instead of flip a switch?  You tell us to not worry, because it won’t add a day to our lives.  And that if the flowers of the field don’t worry about clothing, we shouldn’t worry about our situations - because you already know what we need.

I know that there are people in worse shape than me.  But I still find myself being selfish.  I seem to be caught jumping from one extreme to the other.  And I feel guilty about that.  Help me to center myself on you.  Help this storm, this irritation, become something that draws me closer to you. 

Pull me closer Lord, pull me closer.

 <comments are open, feel free to add your own prayer for people who are currently living without power, both here and abroad>

A certain cable company (rhymes with “Time Warner”) has been causing me difficulties ever since I decided to downgrade my cable subscription.  Each day it seems to get worse. 

• On Thursday they collected my old digital converter box and reclaimed my cable modem (hence no Friday post).  I have high speed internet through them still, so this was a mistake. 
• Their mistake forced me to sit in my apartment waiting for them to deliver a new modem for 12 hours on Friday.  They never showed up.
• Saturday I didn’t talk to them - so no bad news.
• On Sunday I learned they can’t make it to my apartment until Wednesday. 
• This morning (when I finally had some working internet at work) I learned that they also shut down my e-mail address.  And since I’m looking for a new job, this is a bit of an issue!

Now I find myself with a choice: On the one hand I’m furious.  There’s a big part of me that wants to scream, “I didn’t cause any of this, why do I have to deal with it?!”  On the other hand I just wrote a prayer to God asking for patience.  Apparently God was listening, because there’s no doubt now have the perfect opportunity to work on my patience!

As Christians we’re called to live differently.  We aren’t supposed to respond like someone who doesn’t have that relationship with God.  Our lives are supposed to have a different feel to them.  Or as Jesus says, people will recognize our faith by the “fruit” we produce.  (Matthew 7: 20).  The problem is, at least for me, I don’t always want to live that way. I don’t always want to respond calmly, or patiently, and certainly not lovingly.  Sometimes I just want to get in there and argue to “prove” just how right I am.

But is this how Christians are supposed to act?

The times Jesus lost his temper with people were the times they were dishonoring God.  It was never when they were struggling with their own problems, or their own sins.  Jesus always had love, mercy, and compassion for those people.  And that’s how we have to deal with people as well.

No one at the cable company was trying to ruin my service intentionally.  No one wanted me to have a bad day.  In fact, their whole job involves listening to angry customers yell at them.  What kind of a toll does that take on someone?  So while I was angry I took this as an opportunity to minister to people.  While I never said, “hey I’m a Christian, God loves you!”  I did try to be calm, not raise my voice, and get things handled in a civil way.  It was an opportunity to submit to service, rather than exercise my pride (something I do all too often).

Christians aren’t called to be walked all over, but we’re not called to be jerks either.

I never know what to do when I meet someone who is homeless.  I find myself torn between two desires.  On the one hand I want to “make a difference.”  I want to help this person, because I recognize their suffering, and no one should have to suffer alone.  But at the same time I don’t think it does any good to give someone money if they are just going to use it on drugs or alcohol.  That’s not help.  Yet the Bible is filled with examples of generous love being given to people who don’t deserve it.  So how do you respond?  How do you walk the razor’s edge?

This weekend I was reminded of my dilemma.  While eating out with some friends we were approached by a homeless man.  He was clearly on drugs, and he admitted as much when he asked for money.  After an awkward pause we refused to help him.

I honestly don’t know if this was the right answer.  Maybe there was something more we could have done.  But this wasn’t our first conversation with this man.  Only a few weeks earlier he had asked us for the same thing (bus money).  Back then it was clear that he was on drugs.  At that time we decided to reach out to him, spend some time with him, and see if we could help.  As we talked to him (and bought him lunch) we offered to get him help that would make a difference.

He admitted he needed to clean up his life, but refused our help.  Insisting that all he “really” needed was some bus money and sleep.  It struck me then, as it did this week, that this is someone who knows he has a problem.  He’s not an idiot.  He doesn’t want to live on the streets.  And yet he keeps making the same decisions.  He keeps turning to the drugs and lifestyle that prevents him from getting the help he knows he needs.

In other words, he sounds just like me.

The only difference is my homelessness isn’t physical, it’s spiritual.  I may look great on the outside, but I know if I don’t guard myself, my soul all too easily becomes corrupted.  If I don’t constantly seek out help I can become angry, resentful, and filled with pride.  When I don’t take the help that’s offered to me my heart becomes hard, and some of the light goes out of my life.

While believing in Jesus is all that is required to be “saved”, that’s not all that God wants for us.  He doesn’t want the bare minimum.  He wants us to grow and to be changed.  Unfortunately we sometimes reject that path.  We sometimes tell God, “yes I understand my life is filled with sin.  But I just don’t want to change.”  And that’s a dangerous place to be.

It’s easy to look at someone less fortunate and feel pity for them.  It’s easy to start feeling superior.  But I think in some ways this homeless man has an easier path - at least he knows he’s homeless.  How often do I think everything is great in my life, when in fact my soul is homeless?

How do we know our lives matter?

That’s a question that seems to haunt me.  On the days that I feel most depressed are the days I question my value to the world the most.  Did I really make a difference?  Does my life really matter?

In a world filled with so much doubt, is it any wonder that we question if we matter?

The answer, of course, is that our lives do matter, and that we can make a difference.  God values each of us.  But we also have to want to make a difference.  We have to choose to embrace God.  We have to embrace curiosity, and be willing to take action.

That sort of sounds like work.  And it its. 

But that’s okay, because part of what God calls us to is to take action.  And sometimes action is difficult; we may not make the impact we want; we may not feel ourselves making radical changes for the kingdom.  Perhaps we should be doing more.  But as long as we’re moving towards God, we’re growing.  And as long as there’s growth, there’s meaning.