healing a broken heart

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Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 30-10-2009

Category : God, Romans, different, faith, hope, shame, trust

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My girlfriend has the most annoying cat known to man.  This is the type of cat who the minute you sit down jumps into your lap.  He’s the type of cat who can’t go five minutes without craving attention.  He’s the type of cat you almost always step on, because he’d rather be under foot (literally) than in another room.  I have never seen a cat who wants more human interaction.

We often joke that he’s “broken.”

But the sad reality is, he is broken.  He is what is sometimes called a “rescue cat.”  That’s a cat who was mistreated and been removed from a home.  In Ben’s case, he was abused as a kitten.  Mistreated in cruel ways.  And because of that he’s developed an unhealthy need for attention.

So what does Ben have to do with living out a life of faith?  Simple.  That cat is a reflection of many of us.

Many of us walk around broken.  We carry the wounds of abuse, sexual assault, cruelty and vindictiveness.  We are weighed down by those horrible acts.  And in response we turn to unhealthy fixations.  We may crave attention.  Crave validation.  Crave sex, drugs, or alcohol.  Anything to make the pain stop.  Even for a moment.

Yet we have something that Ben, the cat, can never experience.  We have a redeeming God who is actively trying to rework our lives to bring in new meaning.  We no longer have to be confined by our pain.  We can be set free.

Sometimes people will say, “all things work for good for those who believe.“  And they take that to mean that everything, no matter how horrible is God’s will.

It isn’t.

God doesn’t want you to suffer any more than he wants that Ben (the cat) to suffer.

What that phrase really means is that God can take your suffering and change the meaning.  Your pain can be used for something other than bondage.  It can be used as a platform for healing and growth.  I once heard Wess Stafford, President and CEO of Compassion International, speak.  He shared his experience of torture and abuse at the hands of people his parents trusted to take care of him.  How do you overcome that horror?

The truth is, on your own you can’t.  On your own you end up like Ben.  Broken.  But with God’s help, Wess’ story is one of redemption.  One of hope.  It’s about God being bigger than the most terrifying things in the world.  It’s about God redeeming a moment, and using it to touch millions of kids around the world.

That’s what that verse means.  That’s what it means when all things work for good.

We don’t have to remain broken.  We can ask God to redeem us, to change the meaning of our pain.  And you know what?  He will.

Adam and Eve and original sin

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 28-10-2009

Category : Genesis, God, different, failure, faith, sin

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And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.” (Genesis 2: 16-17)

Adam and Eve had one rule: don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

That’s it.

And although that was the only rule, they just couldn’t help themselves.  They went ahead and did it anyway.  Sometimes I wonder how quickly it took before they made it to the fruit.  Part of me thinks it happened right away.  I know that when I’m told I can’t do something, that’s the one thing I want to do.  Is that an attitude I inherited from Adam?  Or has it just always been part of who we are as a species?  I don’t know.  But I know that urge is strong.  So maybe they got dropped off in the garden and then started eating forbidden fruit right away.

On the other hand, Adam had a lot of work to do.  There were a lot of animals to be named.  Adam of course did a good job with that.  Well, maybe with the exception of “platypus.”  So perhaps he was just too busy to go off eating forbidden fruit.

Eventually though, Adam and Eve turned toward that tree.  The one thing they weren’t allowed to touch they went after.  Satan knew exactly how to attack them.  He convinced them that God was holding out on them.  So they ate that fruit, and we’ve been paying for it ever since.

It can be easy to believe God wants us to be perfect.  But I’m not sure that’s his goal.  Perfection would mean we were God ourselves (because God is perfect).  And I don’t think that’s what God is going for.  God’s commands to Adam and Eve weren’t about perfection, they were about freedom.  They were about doing whatever they wanted – with one exception.

In fact, God’s first words to Adam were “you are free”.

Yet Adam and Eve still committed sin.  The original sin.  And we’ve never stopped sinning.  If Adam and Eve only had one thing they couldn’t do, what chance do you and I have to not sin?  The answer is “none.”  We will sin no matter how hard we try not to.

There’s part of me that is bothered by that realization.  I want to be perfect and not sin.  But that’s missing the point.  Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, perfection isn’t an issue.  We are perfect through him.  God isn’t expecting us to be more perfect.  He’s created a way to experience perfection while still making mistakes.

That’s just one of the many amazing and clever things God has done in his relationship with humanity.

Ultimately God is more interested in us growing closer to him than striving for perfection.  He knows that over time we will naturally sin less simply because we are connected with him.  This fact lives in tension with our culture.  We, as a society, believe in  the importance of “manning up.”  But that’s not what God wants.  He doesn’t want us to try harder.

The only thing that will do is cause us to fall down.

Sin may always be part of your life, but it doesn’t have to rule it.

football as an idol

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 26-10-2009

Category : barbarian, choice, faith, living a life of faith, taking action

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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I love football.  That’s pretty obvious if you’ve spent any time rummaging around R3 or ever glance at my twitter feed.  It’s in pretty much every conversation I have from August to February.  Yet I’ve noticed a problem – I can be obsessed.  I love football so much that a loss by the Steelers can derail my entire week.  I can be in a bad mood just because of one bad play.

And you know what?  I hate it.  I hate that football has that much impact on me.  It’s just a game.  But in my heart I know I often treat it as more than just a game.  Sometimes I tell myself, “don’t get so worked up”  However I can’t escape the fact that if football doesn’t have much of an impact on me, it’s not really worth watching, is it?

So I am caught in this love-hate relationship with the greatest game ever devised.

Here’s the thing though, the closer I get to God, the more I dislike these things in my life.  I don’t want anything to impact my mood except God.  I want him to be the center of who I am, not whether the Steelers win or lose.

Over the last year or two I’ve made great progress with having football as an idol.  I’ve learned to let a lot of frustration go and just enjoy the game for what it is – a game.  But at the same time, in the moment I have yet to fully control that emotion.  Now I don’t believe that God cares if I get excited about football or not.  But I do believe he cares about the way I project my relationship with him.  I can hardly call myself a Christian if I go off on someone because the Steelers lose.  That’s not exactly Christ-like behavior.

To me, football is an idol.  And that’s something I need to wrestle with each week.

Idols are dangerous.  They seep into our lives.  Stealing much of the joy in life with promises of a “better” or more “exciting” life.  Those are lies though because they seem so believable.  But they are lies none the less.  Only God provides true freedom and true  life.  Everything else is just a shallow imitation.

Even football.

blessed are those who mourn

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 23-10-2009

Category : Jesus, Matthew, bible, faith, hope

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In the history of R3 I don’t think I’ve ever gone close to two weeks without a “serious” post.  In fact it’s rare that I miss a single post during the week.  But such was the case for the last two weeks.  What I thought was going to keep me down for a few days turned out to floor me for nearly a week.

When I get sick I usually go in a very set pattern, and it lasts just about 3 days.  This time it was different.  In fact, even though it’s been 15 days since I first got sick, I’m still not feeling 100%.  This is near record territory for those of you scoring at home.  But in the course of all that something interesting happened – I was reminded how grateful I am for my health.  Most days I don’t give my health a second thought.  And I never really think about how lucky I am not to have any health issues.  But these last two weeks have given me many opportunities to do just that.

Sometimes the Bible says some pretty crazy things.  For instance, Jesus once said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”  I’m not even sure I really understand what that means.  At least not fully.  To be honest I don’t even want to think about that!  I don’t want to be blessed because I’m mourning.  I want to be blessed because I have a nice car and a nice house.  I want to be blessed because my life is easy!

Yet after being sick I can see how mourning leads to being blessed.

When we suffer we face a choice.  We can become bitter and angry, and that suffering holds us in place.  How many movie villains have their origin in just such a scenario?  How many of us have our identities rooted in pain?  Our other choice is to not let suffering control us.  It’s a chance to embrace mourning as part of a natural healing process.  It’s an opportunity to try and learn something from mourning.  Even if all we learn is that we need more of God.

Because I went through a time of “suffering” I now more fully appreciate what it means to be healthy.  Without losing my health, I never would have really understand what it meant to be healthy in the first place.  Sure, in the big scheme of things this wasn’t catastrophic.  But you don’t always need to have a catastrophe to learn from God.

I think this type of knowledge was what Jesus was driving at.  God’s Kingdom is often upside-down.   And this is just one more example.  Jesus knew that.  He knew that suffering can lead to appreciation.  Which is why he tells us such a counter-intuitive thing.  Maybe we should all embrace our mourning instead of trying to run from it.  Maybe it’s true, “blessed are those who mourn. “

admin note: health update

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 15-10-2009

Category : R3

Tags:

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So what started out as “feeling a little under the weather” turned into a full blown case of strep throat.  And I am only now just recovering from that.  In fact I’m still not anywhere close to being 100%.  So while I hate being away from R3 I’m hoping to return a normal writing schedule next week.  And maybe, if I’m lucky, will have something up and ready for Friday.

christian humor: RockTV

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Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 09-10-2009

Category : bible, faith, humor, living a life of faith

Tags: , , , ,

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I’m feeling a little under the weather today.  And I’m really hoping that it’s not the [cue ominous music] dreaded H1N1.  So I thought something a little lighthearted would be in order.  Which is why I turned to my old standby of RockTV.  They are one of the few Christian comedic groups that’s actually funny.

So much of what passes for “Christian humor” just isn’t funny at all.  But RockTV is different.  They blend hilariousness (is that even a word?) with serious theological points.  Not everyone can be funny and right at the same time.  But RockTV pulls it off time and again.

As we head into the weekend, relax, enjoy your Friday evening, and laugh a little at the latest from RockTV.

biblical leadership: that you my king should die for me

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 07-10-2009

Category : Jesus, bible, choice, faith, living a life of faith, revolutionary, taking action

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Leadership.  Each of us has an opinion about what makes a leader.  Some people will argue that leadership is all about your genetics – it’s what you’re born with.  Others will argue that leadership is something you can learn.  Or maybe that it’s about the situation you are in.  While we can’t always articulate what leadership really is, we tend to give the old cliche “I know it when I see it.”

But what does the Bible have to say about leadership?  Is there such a thing as Biblical leadership?  The short answer is “yes.”  The Bible makes a strong case for what leadership should look like.  And it looks a lot like sacrifice.

Does that surprise you?

It should.

Because it goes against almost everything we’re told about leadership today.  Most leaders have people who are willing to die for them.  That’s the whole idea behind the Secret Service or a body guard.  The idea is that the leader is so important that he (or she) can not die.  Therefore someone else must be willing to sacrifice their own life to protect the leader.  In other words we die for the King.

In the Bible, however, leadership looks a whole lot like the King dying for us.

The Newsboys capture this in the song You Are My King.  The song says, “Amazing love how can it be?  That you, my King, should die for me”

The world tells us that we need to lay down our lives for our King.  That our lives are less important than the King’s.  Yet the Bible is the reverse.  The King should lay down his life for us, the servants.  Jesus had everything he needed.  He didn’t need to die for us.  He chose to die for us.  The one person who should not have to suffer chose to suffer.  To save people who don’t want to be saved.  That, my friends, really is Amazing Love.  That is revolution.

Don’t be fooled though.  Biblical leadership isn’t something reserved for an “elite few.”  It’s supposed to be lived out by everyone who has a relationship with Jesus.  It happens when you live out a life of faith.  When you chose to sacrifice to protect someone weaker than yourself.  When you chose to give something up so that someone else can have something more.  When you lay your own life down, and pick up the cross that God hands you.  That’s living out a life of faith.  That’s Biblical leadership.

That’s a revolution.

Where are you supposed to take leadership in your life?  Who are you to lay your life down for?  Who are you to sacrifice for?  Your wife?  Your boyfriend?  Your kids?  A stranger?

Where will you display Biblical leadership?

greed, money, and my way

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 05-10-2009

Category : choice, sin

Tags: , , ,

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It appears that the NBA is headed to a lockout.  The referees and the NBA can’t come to an agreement.  It may not be the only sport that suffers a lockout.  The NFL, the world’s most successful league, is on the verge of a labor dispute which may result in a lockout.  All of this follows on the heels of the NFL’s labor dispute from a few years ago.  And just recently was the 15 year anniversary of the MLB labor dispute.

Four major sports, 4 lockouts all within recent memory.

Why?

Part of it is greed.  Greed of owners, greed of players, greed of fans, greed of our hearts.  But part of it is just the nature of the world we live in.  We have bought into the idea that money is the answer to all our problems.  Yet the more money we get, the more we fight over it.

In the case of the NFL, neither the players nor the owners have ever had it better.  Yet both want bigger pieces of the pie.  It’s hard for most of us to relate to these arguments because many of us would gladly do their jobs for free, let alone millions of dollars!

Yet for most of us, we can understand being consumed by money and things.  We get angry that we don’t get a raise.  We become jealous when our friends get cooler things than we have.  The hardest thing for me, about being unemployed, is seeing things I want, and not being able to get them.

If we aren’t careful, greed and money pave the way for us to think that we should always get it “my way.”  That somehow just because it’s “my way” makes it right.  The irony is, “my way” is often a path towards failure and defeat.

If the NBA and the NFL have labor issues, maybe they will recover.  But maybe not .  In either case, they will display, for all of us, just what happens when you allow greed to become synonymous with “my way.”

the church leading the way

Posted by e. barrett | Posted on 02-10-2009

Category : God, barbarian, different, faith, living a life of faith, taking action, trust

Tags: , , , , , , ,

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This week I asked, “what if the church led the way?”  In that post I wondered what the world would look like if the church took an active role leading the way in science, literature, art, action, helping people, etc…

A lot of time the church is criticized for not doing it’s part.  And lets face it, that criticism is often well deserved.  But there are many, many, moments where the church lives in a very kingdom-style.

I experienced one of those moments this week.  As a volunteer on the “Benevolence” committee at my local church, I am responsible for looking for ways to help people who need financial assistance.  And as you can imagine, with today’s economy those numbers are overwhelming.

Most of the time I only hear the bad side of the story.  I only hear the heartbreak as someone loses a house or a job.  But every so often I get to hear the “happy ending.”  Such was the case with an individual I’ve been talking to on and off for a few months.  He, through a series of events, ran up a $3,000+ credit card debt.  He, like everyone I see through the Benevolence program just didn’t have the resources to pay it off.

A lot of times that type of story ends in disaster.  But this one was different.  He had developed a relationship with another Christian.  Someone who didn’t even go to my church.  As they talked, the other Christian said he felt God calling him to pay the bill.  All $3000 of it!

I am always moved when God gets involved in our lives.  This was a moment where the church led the way.  Where the Kingdom advanced because one man was faithful and obedient.  When we live our lives under God’s guidance, amazing things happen.

Just something light to end the week on.