Today I was going to write about faith and reason. But I’ve changed my mind because I realized something this week. I realized that I’ve become comfortable with my faith. My trust in God has slowly been turning to religiosity in God.
There was a time where I would have happily sacrificed anything for God, because the memory of him saving me was so strong. But over the last year that’s dimmed a bit. I’ve developed theological ideas. I’ve come to conclusions about who God is and what he wants from me. I’ve become comfortable with my level of generosity.
I don’t think any of those things are bad in and of themselves. But they are causing me to fear talking to him about things. I don’t want to hear answers that may challenge my beliefs. I don’t want to be bothered with changing my life - I’m comfortable now.
But that’s not how God works. We have to give him our all. We can’t hold anything back, because if we do it hurts our relationship with him.
To be honest I don’t know what all this means. I just know, with God’s help, I have to become open to everything he has to say. No matter how uncomfortable that makes me.
It’s scary to stand before God knowing you’ve been hiding. It must have been that way for Elijah when he ran away from his job and hid in a cave. God had to actually go into the cave and call out to Elijah saying, “What are you doing here?” I’m sure God has been doing that to me, and I have just had my fingers plugged in my ears!
