Sometimes the hardest thing we can do is be obedient to God.  I have spent my entire life making decisions out of selfishness and based on what I think would be “best” for me.  That all comes very naturally to me.  But the more I’ve learned about God, the more I realzie that’s not how I need to live my life.  I need to find a way to submit to God’s direction for my life.  But I find this unnatural.  I find it difficult to listen to him, and even harder to follow through. 

Of course it’s only difficult to listen if he’s telling me something I don’t want to hear!  And that’s the real challenge, you aren’t submitting to God until your will and his are at odds.  It’s only submission when you disagree. 

But it’s not as if God asks us to act without evidence or reason.  I can easily call to mind examples of where I listened to God despite disagreeing.  And in each and every one of those times I was amazed by what he’s done.  So why is it that each time I’m confronted with that decision, it feels so impossible to make?  Why is it, as they say, that my spirit is so willing, but my flesh so weak?

Is it stubborness?  Pride?  Greed? Laziness?  Are these the reasons why I find it so difficult to be obedient to God?  I’m sure they play a role.  What it comes down to, I think, is that I simply want that final decison.  I want to be the one making the choices.  And I’m not really interested in making choices that put me in dangerous or vulnerable situations. 

And that’s often exactly what God is calling us to do.  He intentionally puts us in dangerous situations.  He intentionally calls us to be vulnerable with people.  He calls us to be open, to show love, and to embrace people who might laugh at us.  And that’s hard to do!

In the end I need to trust God knows what he’s doing.  And while that’s hard to do, the alternative isn’t really an attractive option for me.  I’ve changed too much to find “my way” totally appealing.