There are days when I really struggle with my faith. Not because I lose my intellectual belief in God, but because I lose hope that he cares. Of course this is a completely ridiculous thing to believe. Even a cursory glance at the Bible shows just how much God has sacrificed so we would know him. But some days, when things seem out of control, I can’t help but feel that way.
That’s usually when the questions start: “how can I believe God will act when our lives are so screwed up?” “How can I trust when bad things happen?” “How can I continue to hope in God when no matter how hard I work, something goes wrong?”
Its days like this that I come closest to giving up on God.
When I get right down to it, I think I’m really saying I’m losing hope that tomorrow will be better than today. But that’s the wrong idea to have about God. Certainly God wants us to be happy, and I’m sure he wants tomorrow to be better than today. But when we speak of our lives “improving,” aren’t we mostly talking about our lives becoming easier? Less dangerous? More comfortable? That’s not at all what God promises us in the Bible. If anything the Bible teaches us that the closer we come to God, the more dangerous our lives become!
My problem is I begin to confuse God’s Hope with the world’s hope. I begin to define hope in terms of prosperity and the “good life.” But that’s not really the Hope God offers. What God offers is a better, eternal future with Him. And sometimes that means we must endure hardship right now.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t really find that easy. I’m not sure I have an answer for how to maintain hope when things are going wrong. But I do know there are some things that help me. First, I just look at God’s character. Is he a God that would abandon us? Is he a God that would turn his back on us when we need him? The answer is clearly no. Secondly, I remind myself that the purpose of our lives should be around knowing God, and following him. If that’s the case, my focus shouldn’t be on making sure I always have the nicest things.
I admit, sometimes that doesn’t feel like enough. Some days I just need to admit that I’m struggling with my faith, but focus on God anyway. But that’s not always easy. That’s the great thing about the Time Magazine story regarding Mother Teresa. She demonstrated the kind of hope that God embodies – a Hope that lasts and trusts in the face of adversity. A Hope that God is real, and he moves in this world, even when we can’t sense him. To me, that’s one of the real messages of her life - that she Hoped even when she didn’t feel God.
